Bear in mind that water doesn't compress, so it behaves very differently to air. I think it mainly comes down to the calibre and velocity rather than surface area and momentum. Simplistically, if a NATO 5.56mm hits water at 940m/s then ideally it takes approx 12.7 microseconds for the entire width of the calibre to pass the surface, which is handy for simple maths because the bullet is approx 12mm from tip to full width. However in reality we need calculus to mathematically examine what happens, but nonetheless we can say roughly that for the first microsecond all the bullet's force is applied to 1mm².
I'm a bit out of my depth here, but what I'm trying to get at is that all bullets which are pointed initially encounter the same width of column of water and that water has a fixed elastic constant which is very low, so there is only so much of it which can be shifted in a given amount of time, which means that there is a point at which it doesn't matter how much more force is applied to the water the tip of the bullet hits, kinetically the water cannot absorb it and neither can the bullet keep it as velocity so, according to Isaac Newton, that energy must be conserved in other forms - so, I think, that's why big heavy fast bullets get blown apart within a similar distance through water and period of time as smaller slower bullets.