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Tell Us a Gag. Please!


Shamal
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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi all me again. No don't all groan at once.🙂

 

I've noticed recently that babies are the fastest-selling things in supermarkets.  You see a lot of them in the trolleys, but I've never seen any on the shelves!🤔

regards 

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Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York. Frightening stuff.  

 

If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am writing a novel about a dog sent to space to retrieve a lost ball but I was wondering, do you think it is too far fetched?

🙂👍

Regards 

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  • 2 weeks later...
17 minutes ago, Cannonfodder said:

Apparently this goes against faceache community standards FB_IMG_1627664075994.jpg.c20b3f827db16b340dae8db237b89457.jpg

Haha.

Like it 😄

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My wife said to me last night that she had a bag of used clothes to give to the charity shop and can I take them up there for her.

I said just throw them in bin it's easier.

She said there were thousands of poor starving people in the world that would benefit from having them.

Stupidly I said that anyone who can get into your clothes certainly ain't starving!!

 

And that's why I can't make this Sundays game and why I'll possibly be walking with a limp! 🤕

Regards 

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3 hours ago, Shamal said:

My wife said to me last night that she had a bag of used clothes to give to the charity shop and can I take them up there for her.

I said just throw them in bin it's easier.

She said there were thousands of poor starving people in the world that would benefit from having them.

Stupidly I said that anyone who can get into your clothes certainly ain't starving!!

 

And that's why I can't make this Sundays game and why I'll possibly be walking with a limp! 🤕

Regards 

At least you didn't say that one of her dresses could help an entire family....

If used as a tent 😆

 

Edited by EDcase
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41 minutes ago, EDcase said:

At least you didn't say that one of her dressed could help an entire family....

If used as a tent 😆

 

Haha. Gawd help me!

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Electric car conversion advice. If you would like an electric car, I converted my old petrol car, using the motor from my tumble dryer.  It works a treat and is very fast and efficient.  However, the only thing I discovered is that it won’t go if the door hasn’t shut properly.😉

 

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I tried donating blood today.

Never again! Too many stupid questions.

Who's blood is it? 

Where did you get it?

Why is it in a bucket?

🤭

Regards 

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11 minutes ago, Dogsbody100 said:

Fuck me this ones a bit deep 😂😂😂😂😂

As the gynaecologist said to the elephant 🐘......😄

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Hi all 👋

Has anyone noticed that the spacing of the rungs on ladders has increased as the population get taller?

I think it's down to climb it change. 😉

Regards 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Today I saw a car bumper sticker that said "I'm a veterinarian that's why I drive like an animal". 

 

It made me realise how many gynaecologists there must be on the roads

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I got home from work tonight and wife had left a note on fridge door.

"It's not working" "I can't take it anymore" I'm going to my sisters".

I opened fridge. LIght came on,beer was cold.....what the fuck is she on about??

😉

regards 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Don't you just hate it when you're sending a text, and you’re so rudely interrupted by a stupid jogger, bouncing off your windscreen
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Dave walked into the pub last night with a black eye.  'How did that happen?' I asked.

 

Apparently, his wife asked him to make a bird table.

 

She only came in at number seven.  

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