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Everybody meet my vicious killing machine!


Finius
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Well I would say the former, but looking at finius' profile picture I reckon he'd be leading an assault on my house by this evening, so I'm going to say the dog. 'Twas clearly the evil killing machine that I was talking about... :)

Anyway, here's my beast. He doesn't tend to mangle my foes anymore, and spends his time eating and sleeping:

n4fpXCf.jpg

 

He can look quite startled though :D

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Dawwwwww

 

Cats > Dogs

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I had a lab but he had a stroke... I had a bull terrier but he got leukaemia. I had another bull terrier but she got cancer :'( attached is picture of tipper the dog with cancer. She was the best. She bit my cousin on the bum cause he was being a dick to everyone. She was like a people. But yeah cool dooogs bro. post-6448-0-39432900-1370907364_thumb.jpg

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Well I would say the former, but looking at finius' profile picture I reckon he'd be leading an assault on my house by this evening, so I'm going to say the dog. 'Twas clearly the evil killing machine that I was talking about... :)

 

Fear not, that's not me in my avatar, it's just a ridiculously badass picture of some Royal Marines looking ridiculously badass ;)

 

I like to see AF-UK is mostly dog-people.

 

Tariq, however, is just wrong.

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Everyone loves a Jawa.

 

I've decided to turn this thread into a sort of diary of the life and times of my rabid beast. Throughout the course of his life, or certainly his puppyhood, I will report to AF-UK regarding his adventures. I assure you, it's going to be horrific.

 

Tonight, I bring you a small entry regarding...THE FORTRESS OF DOGITUDE.

 

20130612_223222_zps8253dd23.jpg

 

This is Oscar's crib. Notice that not only is it equipped with soul-hardening, claw-sharpening, blood-curdling pillows of undeniable badassness, it is also equipped with three of the most powerful training tools know to dog.

 

What you see there are three premium devices designed to train Oscar's life-rending abilities until they're razor sharp. First up, there's piggy. We all know humans are basically tall bacon, by drill-training devastating attacks on this device Oscar will hone his abilities by developing an acute knowledge of human anatomy, enabling him to execute even the most deadly targets with ease and a swift, surgical precision unbeknownst to mere humans.

 

Secondly, there's the dumbells-of-wrath. This chewable dumbell device is equipped with a bell which lets Oscar know he's f**king mauling the living s**t out of it. By using this device he'll be training his lifting muscles and grapple techniques, ideal for defending himself against any stupid enough to go up against his devastating martial art skills (He's also going to train in aikido till he's hench like a motherf**ker).

 

Finally, we have the rolling-ball-of-jingling. This rather spherical object is also equipped with the same bell as the dumbells-of-wrath except instead of training his aikido technique, this actually teaches my dog how to f**king deflect live f**king grenades. How many cats can deflect motherf**king grenades? None, because cats are little b**ches.

 

The fortress itself is crafted from an ancient fortified suitcase, this master-crafted domicile is forged from the finest alloys know to carpentry (whut?) and is designed to shield Oscar from harm during his downtime, private meditation and training sessions, not that he needs it because he's a boss. It also folds close for relocation, essential for a master assassin who is also on the lookout for whatever s**t is next on his list of things to f**k up today.

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I have a target for Oscar, his first hit.

 

My cat.

Here are some reference photos for identification: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151500181977913&set=a.194056937912.125941.609402912&type=3&theater

 

And here's a video for some more clarification:

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Unfortunately, being as my my terminator-dog is still with his mother at present, no major updates, except he did ruthlessly demolish an innocent pair of brand new Superman Converse the other day (and he only did that because he's run out of s**t to f**k up on his list of s**t to f**k up).

 

Cost-to-state of my hellbeast? £35.00

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YAY! Dogs!

 

I like dogs. Dogs are most l33t pets.

 

This was mine as a small feet seeking missile:

IMAG0164.jpg

and now fully grown into an efficient eating and sleeping machine of doom:

617e5d2e-188f-4438-8064-1429912c787f.jpg

 

Captured in a rare moment of being actually awake.

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